Can I Experience Grief if Nobody Died?

There is a sense of unease within you, and you are unable to put your finger on it. If you were to name it, you would say discontentment or even disappointment, but the source doesn’t really seem clear to you. Life is forcing you to change—perhaps a new job, moving from where you live, or letting go of something important to you—and there is a lot of resistance growing within you. You know you need to rise to the challenge life is presenting, but you are just too damned tired.

Life is a continual journey of beginnings and endings on a daily basis from the moment we wake up: the beginning of a new day, the end of a favorite morning beverage, and so on. Beginning. Ending. You have expectations for your life, your day, the people around you, and of course yourself. You may feel comfortable in your routine, or you may feel restless, but now your current circumstances are requiring you to move forward, and yet you feel immobilized by an emotional weight. You would like to experience life with more lightness and joy, but you feel stuck. 

Signs of Unacknowledged Non-Death Grief

Could your melancholy be accumulated grief from the non-death losses we experience but don’t acknowledge? Here are some signs you may be living with grief from non-death losses:

Close relationships aren’t close

You find yourself feeling hurt that your connections with your family of origin or your adult children are not closer. Despite your efforts to nurture these relationships, they end up feeling one-sided. Or you have made the difficult choice of estrangement from close family members and are struggling with the emotional fallout. Or you are experiencing being estranged by an adult child. You find yourself preoccupied with the state of these relationships regularly. You would like to live your life with more focus on yourself and not be influenced by your relationships with others.

Triggers from the past

You may have moved frequently or experienced instability when you were a child, and now the idea of any life change brings up resistance and perhaps even anxiety. You try to push through, but the motivation to keep the momentum going is difficult to access and consistency is lost. You would like to reconcile the wounds of the past to move forward with optimism and enthusiasm.

You thought your life would be different

As a young person, you had high expectations and ideals for the future. Now you are in a place in your life where you believe you have fallen short of your life’s vision and goals. You would like a safe space to process what didn’t go as planned, to reinvent yourself with the lessons you have learned to date.

You have been violated in some way

At some point in your life, you may have experienced abuse, harassment, discrimination, or a crime against you. Your worldview has shifted to where feeling safe is challenging, and you habitually isolate. You would like to create meaning from an unfortunate experience to heal and regain your inner strength.

Taking the First Step Toward Healing

Addressing and navigating the emotional landscape of non-death grief is a critical step toward personal growth and healing. It is important to recognize and validate your feelings to understand the impact on your emotional well-being. Engaging in healthy coping strategies, such as working with a counselor, will create a safe and supportive space to guide you through your process at a comfortable pace. 

Reach out to Christine Ellis (Registered Professional Counsellor, RPC-C) today to schedule your complimentary 30-minute consultation call.